


can't hold you back

by beautifultragic



Series: if im not made for you then why does my heart tell me i am [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, I suck at tagging, M/M, Stuff happens, a lot of crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2797013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifultragic/pseuds/beautifultragic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>liam thinks maybe the universe was created for moments like this: heartbreak, tears and bitter kisses.</p>
<p>or the one where two people aren't meant for each other and still fall anyways.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-<br/> </p>
<p>aka a series of my writing where niall and liam may or may not end up together</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

if liam had to pinpoint it on one thing, he'd put the blame in the universe.

the universe--a world created from ocean to ocean, people to people, and yet, against all odds, he'd meet niall, the one person who wasn't even his in the first place. "he's not your soulmate." they warned him. but he was hopeful. he was young and foolish. he believed it was "fate." but fate can tear apart what it brings together. how they would fall only to be torn to pieces.

liam would blame it on fate. how life is just this mysterious journey and you have no fucking clue who you are or where you even belong half of the time. it drags you along and then you end up right where everyone says you are suppose to. its almost like your entire life is already written for you and you have no chance of anything. "he's not yours and you aren't his." they say, but liam still chose to ignore them.

liam would  blame it on the blue eyes. sure, liam didn't understand most things, like why the sky was blue or why the grass was green but knows what it's like to feel safe--to be loved. loving niall was never easy. it was fighting and kissing and apologizing and knowing they weren't right for each other but falling anyways. it was "i love you," and "i'll fight for us," one day to "i hate you," to "i never want to see you again," it was taking the risk you knew was dangerous--a leap of faith. it felt so impossible, because it was, ("i'm harry, niall's soulmate,") yet here they were, together.

liam would blame it on the idea of "soulmates". how would such a thing exist when he was bounded to meet niall? there was no way some else could fit into niall's arms the way he did. he didn't understand why niall couldn't fight for him. "we'll never win." niall says. but liam was determined for this to work out. "i've got you, don't you get that?" liam says. he searches for niall's eyes. "no, no you don't. you've got someone out there in the world waiting for you." niall's response breaks his heart. "i can't hold you back liam, you know that, i know that." niall smothers liam with bitter kisses.

liam would like to blame niall. for not putting up a fight. for running into him that saturday morning. for making him laugh until he couldn't breathe on their very first date and that was when liam knew he was the one. liam thought there was no other possibility. how could there be any other possibilty when liam knew niall was the one? 

liam thinks maybe the universe was created for moments like this: heartbreak, tears and bitter kisses. he thinks maybe they weren't made for each other, but more so--to become a piece of each other. "i'd love you every lifetime," liam says. (he hopes niall knows it's a promise)

liam thinks maybe that's what love is. maybe his mother was right. you don't always get what you want in life because "it wasn't meant to be". maybe love leaves you scared and broken but it's suppose to be wonderful and magical while it lasts.

liam thinks the timing for their love isn't right. "i'd wait for you every lifetime," niall says. 

in another life--they would be the ones made for each. 

 


	2. all that's in between

liam starts as a casual hookup. he meets liam through josh, a friend of his who was also the drummer for "one direction." (or also referred to as the "world's biggest boyband.") niall's somewhere at a bar with josh and they both smell of strong beer and maybe they're a little drunk but josh keeps going on about one of his best mates who had been going through a horrible break up and how he had been isolating himself away from the rest of the world in the comfort of his own room. niall chuckles at the ridiculousness of whoever that could be, "doesn't he have better things to do?" and then somewhere between the drinks and the craziness of that night, he figures out that kissing leads to a lot more than he'd expected. he finds himself locked in the bathroom of the bar smothering liam with wet kisses. "you sure know how to fix a broken heart horan," liam says, gapsing for air.

two months in and constantly seeing liam now was no surprise. it's nice and theres a whole lot of kissing and things between them move fast but all niall's ever really known so he doesnt mind it as much. liam goes on tour and asks him to come, "it'll be fun," and liam sounds so convincing so why not right? and before he knows it , hes meeting liam's bandmates, harry and louis, who, to be completely honest, were just has hot as liam, but he couldn't see himself kissing either of them. and they're nice and louis jokingly says, "you must be something special huh?" and niall doesnt exactly understand what louis was going on about but harry fills him in, "liam never brings anyone on tour."

five months in and niall finds himself in the comfort of liam's home. where there was once an empty side of the bed, niall now fills. he meets liam's parents, karen and geoff and they are wonderful. and he should be used to it by now but he isn't. he doesnt understand the screaming boys and girls or the flashing cameras every single time liam makes a move but niall thinks thats what happens when you are in the worlds biggest boyband so he doesnt let it bother him too much. and even when people start to speculate things, neither of them really bring up with they are.

seven months in and things start to get worse. liam is always away, traveling from city to city and its like he no longer has time for niall. they fight and say meaningless things to one another and niall starts to realize that its him against his heart. all it takes is a simple "i miss you," from liam and niall is suddenly determined to wait. he thinks that being with liam is complicated like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces but liam's lips are poison and he can't escape. eventually, everything goes back to normal and he tries to balance out working at record shop and teaching a few children in the neighborhood guitar lessons. he meets zayn, who he thinks has the face of a god. his sister had been taking a few lessons from niall and he's seen the way niall's played. "you're amazing," zayn says and niall even blushes little.

nine months in and liam makes his way home. and they kiss and niall misses this feeling. "how long?" because niall knows that time with liam was short. "two days," liam answers and niall knows he shouldnt react this way and he shouldnt be this upset but he is and he cries and they yell at each other and they kiss and spend the night in seperate beds because this was them in their element (they were so disfunctional together) and just like everyone else, they didnt understand why they were still so hung up on each other. but niall thinks they're like magnets, almost like they were meant to find each other and niall thinks maybe that's why its so hard to let go of liam.

one year later and zayn's still around. niall enjoys his company. he's nice and he's told niall things like how he's in a band (niall thinks they're great, he's seen them play before) and zayn tells hims that he'd secretly like to be an english teacher if this whole music thing doesnt work out and niall laughs. "so you'll think about it?" zayn asks, "i've seen you play, you'd be the perfect replacement for danny, besides, it's only two months." and niall would love to just drop everything and go on tour with zayn and the rest of his band but something always holds him back. (liam)

one year later and two weeks in, niall finds himself backstage arguing with liam at some random arena. "you aren't going and that's the end of that niall," but things dont end there because they still continue to yell at each other. "i'm not just going to sit around and wait for you to live out your dreams," niall yells and liam looks a little hurt but they both know its the truth so niall goes home and he packs and he leaves.

one year and two months in, and niall is trying to enjoy every possible moment. touring was unlike anything else he had ever experienced and maybe he's even kissed zayn a few times but they were drunk so niall writes it off as nothing. and maybe it was because he was desperate but he and zayn sleep together in the back of the minivan and zayn lets "i love you," slip out of his mouth.

one year and three months in, niall finds himself at a one direction concert and it's nice to see things from the perspective of the crowd rather then backstage. zayn's got an arm around him and niall likes this. he likes not having people speculate what you are together and he thinks that's something doesn't have with liam. niall looks at zayn and he thinks maybe the only reason he can't fully give himself to zayn is because of liam. he comes to a realization that it's either zayn or liam and just thinking about it gives him a headache. for his heart was too fucked up to make a decision.

and maybe he's had one too many drinks from yesterday, or he just lets his hungover mind take over but before he can stop himself it all spills out when he sees liam backstage in the dressing room, "do you love me? because i love you and i need to know liam. i've never asked you because i just always thought we were a casual thing and hooking up with you was a one time thing but then we got off track and i just need to know because zayn's a great guy and he tastes like chocolate and sweets but you taste like love and bitterness and most people want chocolate and sweets but i want you," and before he knows it, liam's pulling him in and they kiss and they lock themselves in the bathroom and niall thinks they can work this out and there's going to be no goodbye but liam says, "zayn seems like a good guy," and niall feels disgusted with liam. "he could give you things i can't, you know that, i know that," and niall doesn't argue. he and liam will never work out, they're too different, they're too disfunctional, they are too in love and mostly because he knows liam's right so they kiss and it feels like it's their last. niall feels his heart break a little, "any last words?" he asks and liam keeps quiet. "i'll see you around liam," he leaves.

"i hope you know you were the one," liam whispers a little too quietly as niall walks away.


End file.
